I really should...

... actually start blogging again.

It's been a quiet few months and need to get back to the happy work of blogging and updating those of you who actually do come here to see if I've updated. Because it is kind of cruel of me to have just disappeared without even a mention of a hiatus.

But a hiatus is what I had, I took myself away from blogging -- really from writing at all -- and it was a much needed hiatus. My story was in a rut and my blog was getting to the point (or well past it) where I wasn't coming up with the topics myself but depending on the topics of others and stating my own opinion. When I noticed that I realised that I had to step away, that I had to give myself a break from the creative world to let my mind take a break. Have you ever gotten to that point? Or am I alone in that?

Now that I have take a handful of months to work on other aspects of my life and to let those creative juices build up I hope to become a little more consistent in my writing and blogging. Hopefully I can stick to that.

So to get myself back into the swing of my stories, to hopefully incorporate the ideas that have been building, I've decided to read through and lightly edit what I had already written. I want to familiarise myself with where I had previously been heading with the story and play with it so it will fit better with the new road I want to take it down. It has been fun and tiring to see where it was going, and I hope to make it better.

There was something else that I realised while on this little hiatus of mine: that I have been living in a little, lonely cave. Let me try and explain that in the context of writing: for as long as I can remember I have been always considering writing as a very solitary task. I know those of you out there that are writers are probably laughing your butts off and I am completely embarrassed that I admitting this. But I've been reading other writers' blogs and it was like that light bulb going off:

I don't have to do this alone!

I've been looking at the blogs of other writers for awhile now -- both aspiring and published -- and I really started to see how the dots connected. The people I read about always talked about others in their journey: people who helped them through problems by reading through the work, people who gave opinions on the story in general. They talked about the agents they touched base with while querying their work, and then their relationship with that agent if they get that wonderful letter or call that signs them as a working pair. Then you have editors, publishers and everyone else that join the party. They are never alone.

Yes, writing is a very personal project for the writer, and can usually be very solitary and internal in the first stages -- unless you are writing as a pair or group, in which case I give many kudos since its so hard to meld voices that can be so individual -- but once you have gotten the bones of a story down you really are no longer alone, or shouldn't be. I think that is the biggest step I have tried to make in the last bit of time.

I am very nervous about the judgement of others. I mean it took me until very recently to start sharing my writing with my husband and my family. It felt too personal, too secret, too strange. It was something about myself that made me different from most people in my life (which is kind of a pathetic reason) and I was scared to share. But it was so fulfilling to finally share with them. And to hear from my husband that he wanted to read more was music to my ears. But people who are close to you can be biased (my husband swears he is trying not to be but you never know) and I want to see if I get the same reaction from those who are not that close to me.

So this is when I ask you readers out there for a favour. I want to get out of this cave -- and I already have but this new light is bright -- and join the world around me. The writing world that I have been keeping myself from. But I need recommendations. What are good sites or places to find people to critique your work, what are good sites in general to look at, or blogs, or anything. Are there conferences I should be trying to attend, are there memberships I need to get. Help me if you would! Because I don't want to do this alone any more.

Any help will be much appreciated and I'll love you forever!

 

Cara Mia Amore

**Peeks Around a Corner**

So, I'm very sorry about the unplanned hiatus for the last few months. Life has been busy and ... well I have a hat-full of excuses, none which matter here, and none of which you guys would care about.

Unfortunately, in regards to actually writing, I have been unproductive. In regards to research, I have found aplenty. In honesty I am in a slump, I don't have any belief in my story right now. Which is sad because I love it and my characters. I want to tell their story, but part of me doesn't know where to take the story. I know where I used to want the stories o go, but I haven't been able to get there.

So, I have been rethinking a lot in regards to plot and where I want to take things. As of right now, things are up in the air. Going to finish typing in the last bit of edits I did on each of the stories and take some major time to think about where I want these stories to go. Going to edit what were my previous outlines, and see what I want to happen.

I need a big room with walls made of white board walls. Do my best planning when I can write and erase.

Anyway, I will try and write a better, longer post soon.

 

Cara Mia Amore

Check in ...

So I just wanted to say that I didn't disappear, I know I haven't updated with anything since the end of that daily string of posts for a month. I haven't been meaning to ignore you my lovely readers!
So, I usually write all of my blog posts while I am at my breaks/lunch at work. And then transfer them here through my email. Well, I've been trying to access my email from at home and fail to the extreme. Will not load. So that is why the lack of posts because I know that I have them written but I don't want to waste them and want to get it over. I'm getting to the point of just emailing it outside of my work account so I can get some posts out. I'll try to do that within the next few days, but I wanted to check in with you guys and let you know that I'm not dead!

Cara Mia Amore

Update

So, I've been writing a lot lately. Mostly at work, really. A lot of the writing has actually been getting notes and outlines written up. One things I really wanted to update here was my current word counts.

• Noah's: 99 words


• Selene's: 12,743 words
  


• Aislynn's: 6,719 words
  


• God's: 580 words


• Justice: 848 words


• Ezra: 5,145 words

Well, Selene's is mostly an estimate at the moment. I took most of my word counts from what I have typed up, so everything I have written that hasn't been entered on the computer just yet. That is one of my many to-dos for this weekend.

But that is my update for today

Me? Blogging? Psh...

So, once upon a time I used to be good at this whole journaling thing. I could just sit down and reflect on my day. Now, being an adult, I find that a little more difficult. And I think that that is because my brain gets so fried when ever I come home from work that I absolutely do not want to reflect on the day. Half the crap that I go through while working are things I don't even want to have to remember.

Being a call support agent with a major television provider in the U.S. means that I get calls from complete assholes and idiots all day asking me to help them and fix their problems. That wouldn't be so bad if those assholes and idiots would learn to follow directions. Just so you know, when I tell you to press the menu button on your remote, that usually means that I want you to press the menu button, not some random button you decide to press. And then when I asked you what you pressed after you bring up some bullshit I don't want you to say these words: "I thought you said (insert name of whatever button pressed)". You know I didn't say that. Really you did. I only told you the name five times. Seriously. MENU. *Face meet palm/desk/other sharp instrument*. Granted there are the nice people out there who can make my job easier. But there really aren't that many out there these days.

Wedding planning is kind of at a stand still at the moment. Granted we have over a year to plan. But we do need to make a few very important decisions. Like an official date and place. We still haven't decided on the damn state we're getting married in. Decisions, decisions. If you want to read more about the pre-wedding planning and tasks, and any other information go ahead and take a look at my other blog. Two Hands One Heart. Most updates on the wedding will be linked there from now on.

Lets see... what else. Visits with family of different sorts were fun. All the visiting and playing kept everything happy and bright. We definitely wish that both sets of visits could have been longer. We miss our girls and I definitely miss my mom. I would love to just hide her here forever but I think my dad would miss her.

Life has been slightly stressful lately. With working and trying to not kill people bunking on couches, not to mention court and planning various things like weddings and moving out. Nothing has been very "news" worthy lately. But we're getting through it and trying to just get settled. I've been here in Colorado for about 13 months now. Its been exciting and I am more happy then I have ever been.

But thats it for now, I'll try and update more often as well.

CMA

*Sigh of contentment*

So I realized today that I probably haven't checked email in... oh, two weeks or so. Yeah, lets just say that there were hundreds of emails, most for mailing lists I like to read, but still there was probably around 70 that were personal. Then I also realized I haven't done anything here either.

*Face, palm*

Life has been crazy the last month or so. And here's the recap:

• Engagement - About a month into it and I still can't believe how lucky I am to get to spend the rest of my life with a man I cherish and three beautiful girls I adore.


• New job/new hours - I've been working my new job for about a month and... err, probably 2 1/2 weeks. Still getting used to the hours. Gawd, I'm up at 4am every day now, there were days during my lovely two months of unemployment where I didn't even go to bed until 4am.


• Planning visits - Our girls are coming down from C.B.'s house in Washington to visit for their Spring Break at the end of the month. Excitement galore. Also, trying to get it settled on when my mother will be coming down to Colorado as well. A sad twist of fate caused her last trip to be canceled because of a heart attack. Now that she is doing better we are trying to decide on yet another date for her to come down so that she can use the tickets she got refunded.


• Planning weddings - Alright, so its come to my attention that I am a very anal planner. We have decided on a general idea of a date that is more then a year away and I am enjoying way too much the idea of planning this. And starting to get scared shit-less of all that needs to be done. Not to mention we can't decide if we'll do the wedding here in Colorado or back up in Washington. Gah, but I know what I'm going to wear and I know how I want the ceremony to go. Let's just say, I'm a freak.


• Planning moves - Our lease is up in June I believe, finally, and we will get the chance to move out of these disastrous apartments. So we, and when I say we I mean me because the S.O. works later then I and usually most apartments are closed by the time he gets off.

• Writing and not writing - Been too exhaust to do much, though the cool thing about being a call support person is that I can write at the desk in between calls. Though trying to keep up a flow is hard in that situation.

So yes, that's about it, for now. But since my lap top is about to die, I will update more later.