A Mind
Written on: February 3, 2006 (age nineteen)
Silence
A mind so numb
Nothing gets through
Ignorance
A mind full of opinions
Without really understanding
Trust
A mind willing to explore
Those feeling growing inside
Faith
A mind filled with religion
Never knowing what beliefs to believe
Happiness
A mind ecstatic
The joys of life need to be explored
Depression
A mind lost in delirium
Never wanting to feel abused again
Fear
A mind so scared
From quickly harsh words
Release
A minds need to get away
To have one happy day
Control
A mind reigned in
Afraid to speak of whats there
Remembrance
A mind full of memories
That will never disappear
Torture
A mind needing to relax
But will always remember the pain
Truth
A mind never accepting
What had really happened
Opinion
A mind which carries a secret
And a reason to hide it
Lies
A mind tortured by the past
But never allowed to express it
Belief
A mind knowing there will be a better day
An escape from torment
A beautiful mind
Trapped in a painful world
Of memories of time
That are forever blacked out
Not knowing if anyone will know
But the possessor of a tortured mind
So this poem here is the final one in my notebook so this will be the last installment of DTP. Hope you enjoyed them.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
DTP Part 92
Finally A Queen
Written on: January 6, 2005 (age eighteen)
Once upon a time
A girl living in a castle of her own
With a family and a world of happiness
She grew up surrounded
By family and friends
And knew one day she'd find her prince
She loved the promises the world held
The belief of soul mates
And then she found herself growing up
Her soul mate found in love
And she was deliriously happy
She finally felt alive
Felt complete with the man of her dreams
She finally knew where she belonged
Beside her prince
To become king and queen
Of their own castle
To be with him forever
To have a family with him
And make their castle a home
To fill it with love and friendship
To have a life full of intrigue
Full of surprises and mysteries
So now she's finally become a queen
Her king by her side
And she now knows that when their castle
Becomes theirs
And their forever together
With a family of their own
Their lives will be complete
Written on: January 6, 2005 (age eighteen)
Once upon a time
A girl living in a castle of her own
With a family and a world of happiness
She grew up surrounded
By family and friends
And knew one day she'd find her prince
She loved the promises the world held
The belief of soul mates
And then she found herself growing up
Her soul mate found in love
And she was deliriously happy
She finally felt alive
Felt complete with the man of her dreams
She finally knew where she belonged
Beside her prince
To become king and queen
Of their own castle
To be with him forever
To have a family with him
And make their castle a home
To fill it with love and friendship
To have a life full of intrigue
Full of surprises and mysteries
So now she's finally become a queen
Her king by her side
And she now knows that when their castle
Becomes theirs
And their forever together
With a family of their own
Their lives will be complete
DTP Part 91
A Collection of Thoughts
Written on: May 19, 2005 (age eighteen)
Words on a piece of paper
Scrambled in to a jumbled mess
There is no order, no sense
Just thoughts on paper
All you have to do is get the words down
Before they disappear
Before you move on
You write one thing
But are unsure of what comes next
So you move on to the next thought
Maybe you talk about the future
Of a happy family with a few kids
But you don't stay on that thought long
And move on to your memories
The thoughts of a joyful childhood
And watching a big world grow smaller
You remember the days of forts
And adventures from sunrise to sunset
The thoughts of your adult adventures
Start to dominate your mind
Thoughts of your first hug
Your first kiss
Your childish crushes
And puppy love
Passionate words shared
As your cuddled close to a lover
The dreams of growing older
A true love there by your side
Children and grandchildren
They light up your life
Your thoughts jump again
And now your thinking about a job
What will you be, who will you be
Will all your dreams come true
Will you be a teacher
Or will you write the great American novel
How will you look
Will you still be kind and gentle
Will you fall in love many times
Or is there only one true love for you
There are so many paths to travel
How will you know which to choose
Is there even a right way to go
Do we have a single fate
Already planned out for us
Or do we really have the choice
Of what will happen in our lives
There are so many thoughts
Here on this paper
How will you organize them all?
Written on: May 19, 2005 (age eighteen)
Words on a piece of paper
Scrambled in to a jumbled mess
There is no order, no sense
Just thoughts on paper
All you have to do is get the words down
Before they disappear
Before you move on
You write one thing
But are unsure of what comes next
So you move on to the next thought
Maybe you talk about the future
Of a happy family with a few kids
But you don't stay on that thought long
And move on to your memories
The thoughts of a joyful childhood
And watching a big world grow smaller
You remember the days of forts
And adventures from sunrise to sunset
The thoughts of your adult adventures
Start to dominate your mind
Thoughts of your first hug
Your first kiss
Your childish crushes
And puppy love
Passionate words shared
As your cuddled close to a lover
The dreams of growing older
A true love there by your side
Children and grandchildren
They light up your life
Your thoughts jump again
And now your thinking about a job
What will you be, who will you be
Will all your dreams come true
Will you be a teacher
Or will you write the great American novel
How will you look
Will you still be kind and gentle
Will you fall in love many times
Or is there only one true love for you
There are so many paths to travel
How will you know which to choose
Is there even a right way to go
Do we have a single fate
Already planned out for us
Or do we really have the choice
Of what will happen in our lives
There are so many thoughts
Here on this paper
How will you organize them all?
DTP Part 90
Magic
Written on: January 6, 2005 (age eighteen)
Magic is all around us
All we have to do is look
Fairy tales have to be based on some reality
They follow us to our dreams
Fairies, unicorns and all the little monsters
The magic in the air on a spring morning
With the smell of flowers in the air
Miracles of babies and being in love
The magic that a family holds
I've always believed in magic
All the stories out there that mystify the mind
And perk your curiosity
Do witches and vampires exist?
Do werewolves truly howl at the moon?
Are fairies and pixies hiding in the greenery of Scotland?
And leprechauns hiding their pots of gold.
The Stonehenge holding magic within its circles
For me life is full of magic
Magic is everywhere
Like wishing upon a star
To see if all your dreams will come true
Written on: January 6, 2005 (age eighteen)
Magic is all around us
All we have to do is look
Fairy tales have to be based on some reality
They follow us to our dreams
Fairies, unicorns and all the little monsters
The magic in the air on a spring morning
With the smell of flowers in the air
Miracles of babies and being in love
The magic that a family holds
I've always believed in magic
All the stories out there that mystify the mind
And perk your curiosity
Do witches and vampires exist?
Do werewolves truly howl at the moon?
Are fairies and pixies hiding in the greenery of Scotland?
And leprechauns hiding their pots of gold.
The Stonehenge holding magic within its circles
For me life is full of magic
Magic is everywhere
Like wishing upon a star
To see if all your dreams will come true
DTP Part 89
Memories
Written on: January 5, 2005 (age eighteen)
My memories of my life in my childhood home
Are both beautiful and amusing
I remember birthday parties
Late night swims and thunderstorms
Sitting up late and talking
Movies that last all day
Dinners shared together
But memories are both good and bad
Arguments that make you cry
Disappointment in your eyes
Fights with siblings
I grew up in one home
With a family of many
Whether they are of blood or not
They have all helped form my memories
My friends and family have seen me through
All the hard times
they have supported
All my choices
And they have held and comforted me
Through all my pains
So now as I have grown up
Become an adult
I begin to remember all my childhood memories
I treasure them as I set them aside
All where they will always be remembered
But put away to make room for new ones
As a new page has turned in my life
I know where I'm heading in life
And I'm happy to be going there too
My memories will be mine forever
And they will keep growing and building
As the rest of my life goes by
Written on: January 5, 2005 (age eighteen)
My memories of my life in my childhood home
Are both beautiful and amusing
I remember birthday parties
Late night swims and thunderstorms
Sitting up late and talking
Movies that last all day
Dinners shared together
But memories are both good and bad
Arguments that make you cry
Disappointment in your eyes
Fights with siblings
I grew up in one home
With a family of many
Whether they are of blood or not
They have all helped form my memories
My friends and family have seen me through
All the hard times
they have supported
All my choices
And they have held and comforted me
Through all my pains
So now as I have grown up
Become an adult
I begin to remember all my childhood memories
I treasure them as I set them aside
All where they will always be remembered
But put away to make room for new ones
As a new page has turned in my life
I know where I'm heading in life
And I'm happy to be going there too
My memories will be mine forever
And they will keep growing and building
As the rest of my life goes by
DTP Part 88
The Man
Written on: January 5, 2005 (age eighteen)
I once met a man
He sat in a park every day
Sun, rain or snow
No matter the weather outside
He was always there
I had learned as a child to expect him
Even if I did not look his way
I knew he would be perched on his bench
So I grew up as he grew older
And my visits became shorter
And further between
Yet one day as I was claimed an adult
By societies eyes
I went to the park
And searched out this man
A man so constantly in memories
And soon I found this man
Colored by age
Shadowed by death
He was no longer that strong image in my mind
Now he looked frail and alone
As he did not before
I sat beside the man
As if we were not strangers
And stared ahead as he did
Followed his trail of sight
Yet I saw nothing
The vision not calling me
As it did to him
What did he see
That brought him here each day
I turned to him to ask
And I noticed for the first time
The distant and blurred look in his eyes
And I knew
What he saw I would never see
A long and distant memory
Even though no words were shared
I knew this spot was sacred
I turned away from him
And again I stared at that one spot
But now I closed my eyes
Went into my mind and disappeared
My eyes open and distant as his
As I remembered everything from my past
The park became to me a sacred place
As it was to him
A place of solitude and sharing
To spend alone or with friends
I spent the entire day just sitting there
Just to remember
By the time my mind came back
To present days thoughts
I realized my day was gone
The man still sat in his memories
He had so many more than I
I stood and left the park in understanding
I knew why the man sat there each day
Now I visit the park
In honor of my memories
So as I return to this park as a woman
The man no longer there
Only a memory in itself
Added to many gathered through the years
He showed me how to treasure them
Without a word spoken between us
I treasure this park now
And all the memories it holds
Written on: January 5, 2005 (age eighteen)
I once met a man
He sat in a park every day
Sun, rain or snow
No matter the weather outside
He was always there
I had learned as a child to expect him
Even if I did not look his way
I knew he would be perched on his bench
So I grew up as he grew older
And my visits became shorter
And further between
Yet one day as I was claimed an adult
By societies eyes
I went to the park
And searched out this man
A man so constantly in memories
And soon I found this man
Colored by age
Shadowed by death
He was no longer that strong image in my mind
Now he looked frail and alone
As he did not before
I sat beside the man
As if we were not strangers
And stared ahead as he did
Followed his trail of sight
Yet I saw nothing
The vision not calling me
As it did to him
What did he see
That brought him here each day
I turned to him to ask
And I noticed for the first time
The distant and blurred look in his eyes
And I knew
What he saw I would never see
A long and distant memory
Even though no words were shared
I knew this spot was sacred
I turned away from him
And again I stared at that one spot
But now I closed my eyes
Went into my mind and disappeared
My eyes open and distant as his
As I remembered everything from my past
The park became to me a sacred place
As it was to him
A place of solitude and sharing
To spend alone or with friends
I spent the entire day just sitting there
Just to remember
By the time my mind came back
To present days thoughts
I realized my day was gone
The man still sat in his memories
He had so many more than I
I stood and left the park in understanding
I knew why the man sat there each day
Now I visit the park
In honor of my memories
So as I return to this park as a woman
The man no longer there
Only a memory in itself
Added to many gathered through the years
He showed me how to treasure them
Without a word spoken between us
I treasure this park now
And all the memories it holds
DTP Part 87
My Fairytale
Written on: January 5, 2005 (age eighteen)
Love had only been in fairy tales
Trust had just been a myth
Thoughts and dreams kept hidden
And tongues held in check
Until you brought it all out in me
I had kept myself locked away
In the shadows of others
My heart was locked behind a wall
Until you brought out a key to break it down
I really thought there was no one
To help me reach all my dreams
To comfort when I found pain
To laugh when times are good
Someone to share my deepest secrets with
Now that love's a reality
My trust is in your hands
I share my thoughts and secrets
And I'm no longer afraid to speak my thoughts
You push me forward
To do the best that I can
I push you to do the same
Our love and passion shared
An eternal flame has been lit
And shall never be burned out
There may be bad times
Just like there are good ones
But we both know we'll get through them together
When I held you in my arms
I had finally found where I belonged
By your side and forever with you
I felt complete and truly happy
When I had to let you go
I cried and felt alone and torn apart
Even though I knew we'd be together again soon
I could look forward to that day
To the day we'd be with each other forever
I'm happy, ecstatic
I feel I can jump for joy
I'm loved and I love
I give my trust as I get yours in return
Even though we're apart ow
I know soon we'll be together again
So now I have felt what love is
I'm happier than ever
And I know where I belong
I believe now there is true love
Soul mates meant to be together
My fairy tale has come true
Written on: January 5, 2005 (age eighteen)
Love had only been in fairy tales
Trust had just been a myth
Thoughts and dreams kept hidden
And tongues held in check
Until you brought it all out in me
I had kept myself locked away
In the shadows of others
My heart was locked behind a wall
Until you brought out a key to break it down
I really thought there was no one
To help me reach all my dreams
To comfort when I found pain
To laugh when times are good
Someone to share my deepest secrets with
Now that love's a reality
My trust is in your hands
I share my thoughts and secrets
And I'm no longer afraid to speak my thoughts
You push me forward
To do the best that I can
I push you to do the same
Our love and passion shared
An eternal flame has been lit
And shall never be burned out
There may be bad times
Just like there are good ones
But we both know we'll get through them together
When I held you in my arms
I had finally found where I belonged
By your side and forever with you
I felt complete and truly happy
When I had to let you go
I cried and felt alone and torn apart
Even though I knew we'd be together again soon
I could look forward to that day
To the day we'd be with each other forever
I'm happy, ecstatic
I feel I can jump for joy
I'm loved and I love
I give my trust as I get yours in return
Even though we're apart ow
I know soon we'll be together again
So now I have felt what love is
I'm happier than ever
And I know where I belong
I believe now there is true love
Soul mates meant to be together
My fairy tale has come true
DTP Part 86
Thinking (Part 3)
Written on: November 13, 2004 (age seventeen)
I look back on what I did last year
A poem by this very name
Crazy how worried I seemed
About so many things
Life, death
Past and future
About a ring to bind me
To someone I despise now
I was even feeling this way then
Now that terrible feeling of being bound is gone
I want the ring
From the man of my dreams
I'm giddy with excitement
When rings are exchanged
And vows are said
No matter how soon or long
Until that day
I now know who it will be
Growing up is still a scary thing
But now, not as much as before
My life has found its course
Leading me and guiding me down its paths
My eyes aren't always open
Sometimes I can be blinded on my way
Yet I have met one crossroad
Knowing I'll meet more
But now I feel prepared
It's scary and nerve-wreaking
How caution I am around my friends
Trying not to say anything wrong
Or do a stupid thing
They've blamed me for things in the past
And called me a bad friend
But all that is behind me
All has been resolved
Hasn't it?
Writing and family
Were always the constants in my life
They had seen me through every problem
They have helped me find my path
Now I've found a new thing in my life
Someone who is there to be depended on
The kind and captor of my heart
He makes all the fears and pains
Go away
A week from now I'll be an adult
But will I be mature enough
To take on the role
Can I be independent
Or has time gone too fast
For me to grow to be on my own
Or will I always be dependent
On the people in my life
And see I can't live up to the role
For the longest time
I have been that little girl
Full of dreams
I have seen my dreams morph
From fairy tales to wedding days
Now my dreams are special
Things I know I can hope to reach
Because now that he's by my side
I know he'll help me through the troubles
From friend
To boyfriend
And soon to husband
From child to woman
From daughter
To wife and mother
My dreams of family
Of my own
Are close to me
Truth be told
I have never felt like this
Like nothing has made me happier
Light headed and those wonderful butterflies
When ever he even says my name
I can now say "I love you"
With all of my heart and soul
And when I hear those three words back
I know that the words are from the heart
I had always dreamt of a fairytale romance
Of true love and happily ever after
I've found it in him
He is everything I have ever dreamed of
And I know that he's the one
He is my lover and my best friend
We can talk for hours
If anything goes wrong in my life
He's always had a comforting embrace
I remember long ago
Sitting down as little girls
My friends and I tried to write our vows
To our imaginary husbands
Back then I couldn't find the words
To say to someone who wasn't real
But I know now that if I sat down
To write my vows to him
The words would be harder
I would never be able to find
The right words
To express what I feel about him
And how he makes everything so right
He's a dream come true
One I never thought I'd find
So I would want the words to be perfect
To hear his words of love as well
Until death do us part
Now I wear a ring on my finger
Knowing that soon the band will change
To the one he'll give to me
On bended knee
I know he'll have one on his own finger
In the future
As we stand in front of family and friends
Our hands held together
As those words of love are shared
My future doesn't seem so bleak now
As the days tick by
Until the days I must leave
The safety of the nest my family has given me
I know I won't be alone
I'll have him and my friends
And my family will always be there
I will always have writing
When things get really bad
I've never been so sure of what I want
I had always been fearful
Of making the wrong choice
But as in the days of old
I believe in fate
In a destiny already planned
But I believe we have a say now
Of the best choices in our lives
And I know I can make them now
Writing through the years
Changing from style to style
Searching for where I am most comfortable
From poetry to stories and back again
Poetry seems to be a favorite
Though I have found a different style now
Something hush-hush
Of secrets deep in your minds
It lets me bring things inside to life
My love for children has guided me
To help to prepare them for life
To teach them and be there for them
This love has helped me find a goal
Something I wish to be
Though I believe
That love was destined to lead me here
On this path to teach
To help them find their own futures
More dreams
And different paths
Show me the possibilities
A teacher, a writer
A bookstore filled with books
A cozy cafe to relax in
A fireplace to curl up in front of
A book in your lap
All of these pictures in my head
My insatiable thirst for knowledge
Drives me to reach each goal
To find and learn more
To find out why things are so
This must be why I hold so many dreams
I just want to learn about everything
Ad I know I must continue to take it in
To try and ease that need
To hold all the knowledge out there
So now I see how full my mind is
Things I must write down
To try and get it all in words
Before they disappear into the void
The storage where my thoughts are held
These words are from my inner soul
My innermost secrets kept
My biggest fears and dreams
The words don't seem to stop
Time has seemed to go so fast
And all I can do
Is try to keep up
To not get lost in the crowd is hard
I must find where I belong
I know life is short
And you should always look in every direction
To take in everything you can
And live life to the fullest
Written on: November 13, 2004 (age seventeen)
I look back on what I did last year
A poem by this very name
Crazy how worried I seemed
About so many things
Life, death
Past and future
About a ring to bind me
To someone I despise now
I was even feeling this way then
Now that terrible feeling of being bound is gone
I want the ring
From the man of my dreams
I'm giddy with excitement
When rings are exchanged
And vows are said
No matter how soon or long
Until that day
I now know who it will be
Growing up is still a scary thing
But now, not as much as before
My life has found its course
Leading me and guiding me down its paths
My eyes aren't always open
Sometimes I can be blinded on my way
Yet I have met one crossroad
Knowing I'll meet more
But now I feel prepared
It's scary and nerve-wreaking
How caution I am around my friends
Trying not to say anything wrong
Or do a stupid thing
They've blamed me for things in the past
And called me a bad friend
But all that is behind me
All has been resolved
Hasn't it?
Writing and family
Were always the constants in my life
They had seen me through every problem
They have helped me find my path
Now I've found a new thing in my life
Someone who is there to be depended on
The kind and captor of my heart
He makes all the fears and pains
Go away
A week from now I'll be an adult
But will I be mature enough
To take on the role
Can I be independent
Or has time gone too fast
For me to grow to be on my own
Or will I always be dependent
On the people in my life
And see I can't live up to the role
For the longest time
I have been that little girl
Full of dreams
I have seen my dreams morph
From fairy tales to wedding days
Now my dreams are special
Things I know I can hope to reach
Because now that he's by my side
I know he'll help me through the troubles
From friend
To boyfriend
And soon to husband
From child to woman
From daughter
To wife and mother
My dreams of family
Of my own
Are close to me
Truth be told
I have never felt like this
Like nothing has made me happier
Light headed and those wonderful butterflies
When ever he even says my name
I can now say "I love you"
With all of my heart and soul
And when I hear those three words back
I know that the words are from the heart
I had always dreamt of a fairytale romance
Of true love and happily ever after
I've found it in him
He is everything I have ever dreamed of
And I know that he's the one
He is my lover and my best friend
We can talk for hours
If anything goes wrong in my life
He's always had a comforting embrace
I remember long ago
Sitting down as little girls
My friends and I tried to write our vows
To our imaginary husbands
Back then I couldn't find the words
To say to someone who wasn't real
But I know now that if I sat down
To write my vows to him
The words would be harder
I would never be able to find
The right words
To express what I feel about him
And how he makes everything so right
He's a dream come true
One I never thought I'd find
So I would want the words to be perfect
To hear his words of love as well
Until death do us part
Now I wear a ring on my finger
Knowing that soon the band will change
To the one he'll give to me
On bended knee
I know he'll have one on his own finger
In the future
As we stand in front of family and friends
Our hands held together
As those words of love are shared
My future doesn't seem so bleak now
As the days tick by
Until the days I must leave
The safety of the nest my family has given me
I know I won't be alone
I'll have him and my friends
And my family will always be there
I will always have writing
When things get really bad
I've never been so sure of what I want
I had always been fearful
Of making the wrong choice
But as in the days of old
I believe in fate
In a destiny already planned
But I believe we have a say now
Of the best choices in our lives
And I know I can make them now
Writing through the years
Changing from style to style
Searching for where I am most comfortable
From poetry to stories and back again
Poetry seems to be a favorite
Though I have found a different style now
Something hush-hush
Of secrets deep in your minds
It lets me bring things inside to life
My love for children has guided me
To help to prepare them for life
To teach them and be there for them
This love has helped me find a goal
Something I wish to be
Though I believe
That love was destined to lead me here
On this path to teach
To help them find their own futures
More dreams
And different paths
Show me the possibilities
A teacher, a writer
A bookstore filled with books
A cozy cafe to relax in
A fireplace to curl up in front of
A book in your lap
All of these pictures in my head
My insatiable thirst for knowledge
Drives me to reach each goal
To find and learn more
To find out why things are so
This must be why I hold so many dreams
I just want to learn about everything
Ad I know I must continue to take it in
To try and ease that need
To hold all the knowledge out there
So now I see how full my mind is
Things I must write down
To try and get it all in words
Before they disappear into the void
The storage where my thoughts are held
These words are from my inner soul
My innermost secrets kept
My biggest fears and dreams
The words don't seem to stop
Time has seemed to go so fast
And all I can do
Is try to keep up
To not get lost in the crowd is hard
I must find where I belong
I know life is short
And you should always look in every direction
To take in everything you can
And live life to the fullest
DTP Part 85
The Hunt
Written on: September 15, 2004 (age seventeen)
She was swift and stealthy
Nothing stopped her
She was persistent
On a hunt
She is rarely seen
Until her pray feels serene
With strong legs she pounces
With sharp teeth skin is shredded
But even though the strike is deadly
She does not feast upon her catch
Quietly again she follows a trail
Hidden to the naked eye
This time Slowed with the burden
Of fresh meat in her mouth
The blood seeps into and onto her muzzle
Awakening sense and causing
A growl of hunger to escape
She knows she is getting closer to her destination
The familiar scents and sounds
Of home and family calling her
Soon the entrance of the secluded cave is revealed
The sounds so familiar
Of cubs playing
The sight of other lionesses watching with curiosity
As she brings the dinner home to them
She drops it upon the ground in the center of the clearing
She turns her back to leave
Her job is done, yet she still hungers
Written on: September 15, 2004 (age seventeen)
She was swift and stealthy
Nothing stopped her
She was persistent
On a hunt
She is rarely seen
Until her pray feels serene
With strong legs she pounces
With sharp teeth skin is shredded
But even though the strike is deadly
She does not feast upon her catch
Quietly again she follows a trail
Hidden to the naked eye
This time Slowed with the burden
Of fresh meat in her mouth
The blood seeps into and onto her muzzle
Awakening sense and causing
A growl of hunger to escape
She knows she is getting closer to her destination
The familiar scents and sounds
Of home and family calling her
Soon the entrance of the secluded cave is revealed
The sounds so familiar
Of cubs playing
The sight of other lionesses watching with curiosity
As she brings the dinner home to them
She drops it upon the ground in the center of the clearing
She turns her back to leave
Her job is done, yet she still hungers
DTP Part 84
You Brought Me Back
Written on: September 9, 2004 (age seventeen)
I once was down and dreary
Hurt so many times before
I didn't want to get trapped again
Only to find myself torn and hurt again
So I was secluded and distant
Keeping myself from showing my true colors
Wearing a mask with a smile
Yet beneath there were tears
I wanted the love
But I didn't want the hurt
I was friendly and honest to a point
But no one really knew how I felt
No one but me
You came into my life as a surprise
A dream come true
I slowly started realizing
It was you who was missing all along
I remember I was sitting back
Trying to stay out of the crowd
You walked in and looked around
I watched you say hello
To all your friends
But when our eyes met
It seemed as all else disappeared
You came to me
Alone in my corner
Ignoring all the noise behind you
Your friends were trying to call you back
You reached my side and sat beside me
Leaning against me like we've known each other
Forever
We sat in silence
Sharing the solitude of the dark corner
Minutes had passed as I started to feel
It seemed as if we both felt it
The pull that had caused you to walk across the room
Was the same pull that caused us to turn
To start talking with familiarity
Finding out anything and everything
We were connected instantly
It didn't feel like we had just met
It felt like you knew everything about me
You seemed to bring me out
From behind my mask
You brought me out of my sorrow
You made me feel alive again
And I'm genuinely smiling again
You brought me back to happiness
We never parted
Nothing could separate us
I found myself falling in love again
But this time it was different
Because I knew you wouldn't hurt me
And when you told me you felt the same
My heart seemed to soar
And I finally complete
Written on: September 9, 2004 (age seventeen)
I once was down and dreary
Hurt so many times before
I didn't want to get trapped again
Only to find myself torn and hurt again
So I was secluded and distant
Keeping myself from showing my true colors
Wearing a mask with a smile
Yet beneath there were tears
I wanted the love
But I didn't want the hurt
I was friendly and honest to a point
But no one really knew how I felt
No one but me
You came into my life as a surprise
A dream come true
I slowly started realizing
It was you who was missing all along
I remember I was sitting back
Trying to stay out of the crowd
You walked in and looked around
I watched you say hello
To all your friends
But when our eyes met
It seemed as all else disappeared
You came to me
Alone in my corner
Ignoring all the noise behind you
Your friends were trying to call you back
You reached my side and sat beside me
Leaning against me like we've known each other
Forever
We sat in silence
Sharing the solitude of the dark corner
Minutes had passed as I started to feel
It seemed as if we both felt it
The pull that had caused you to walk across the room
Was the same pull that caused us to turn
To start talking with familiarity
Finding out anything and everything
We were connected instantly
It didn't feel like we had just met
It felt like you knew everything about me
You seemed to bring me out
From behind my mask
You brought me out of my sorrow
You made me feel alive again
And I'm genuinely smiling again
You brought me back to happiness
We never parted
Nothing could separate us
I found myself falling in love again
But this time it was different
Because I knew you wouldn't hurt me
And when you told me you felt the same
My heart seemed to soar
And I finally complete
DTP Part 83
Torn
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
Have you ever been torn
Torn between two souls
Two people
Wanting to make yourself happy
But not wanting to hurt anyone
Or yourself
It seems life leads me this way
Always making me choose
Between two
But I guess that's how it is
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
Have you ever been torn
Torn between two souls
Two people
Wanting to make yourself happy
But not wanting to hurt anyone
Or yourself
It seems life leads me this way
Always making me choose
Between two
But I guess that's how it is
DTP Part 82
Stars
Written on: unknown date
I lay down in a field of flowers
The midnight air blowing over me
I look at the billions of stars in the sky
And think of all the reasons why I love you
My heart soars because before I knew it
I had used each and every star in the sky
I closed my eyes
And imagined more stars in the sky
Until my list had come close to an end
More stars were added to my sight
With more reasons for my love
So now as I lay in this field of flowers
I watch as my dreams become reality
For in mere hours
I'll finally be yours
We'll share our vows
To share eternity
To be one
Bound in love
Together forever
Written on: unknown date
I lay down in a field of flowers
The midnight air blowing over me
I look at the billions of stars in the sky
And think of all the reasons why I love you
My heart soars because before I knew it
I had used each and every star in the sky
I closed my eyes
And imagined more stars in the sky
Until my list had come close to an end
More stars were added to my sight
With more reasons for my love
So now as I lay in this field of flowers
I watch as my dreams become reality
For in mere hours
I'll finally be yours
We'll share our vows
To share eternity
To be one
Bound in love
Together forever
DTP Part 81
A Modern Day Romeo and Juliette
Written on: March 26, 2004 (age seventeen)
Star cross'd lovers
A world apart
What do they do
When they love forbiddenly
A voice, a thought, a single picture
Is all they have to remember
That their love will be strong
Forever
Yet to get forever, it must be in secret
Because family and friends disapproved
They met in secret
For they are not even allowed to be friends
Yet they still find the time and the way
To be together
To tell or not to tell
That is the question
Running through their heads
Should they face the hurt
The disappointment
The disownment
Will their friends and family ever understand
That it was love that pulled them together
Instead of hate pushing them apart
Her friends called him cocky
Ugly and an ass
His friends called her a tramp
The black sheep and a bitch
To hide their anger
They put on their masks
Not denying, not encouraging
They were your modern day
Romeo and Juliette
Denied to each other
Because their families are different
Because their friends are different
Written on: March 26, 2004 (age seventeen)
Star cross'd lovers
A world apart
What do they do
When they love forbiddenly
A voice, a thought, a single picture
Is all they have to remember
That their love will be strong
Forever
Yet to get forever, it must be in secret
Because family and friends disapproved
They met in secret
For they are not even allowed to be friends
Yet they still find the time and the way
To be together
To tell or not to tell
That is the question
Running through their heads
Should they face the hurt
The disappointment
The disownment
Will their friends and family ever understand
That it was love that pulled them together
Instead of hate pushing them apart
Her friends called him cocky
Ugly and an ass
His friends called her a tramp
The black sheep and a bitch
To hide their anger
They put on their masks
Not denying, not encouraging
They were your modern day
Romeo and Juliette
Denied to each other
Because their families are different
Because their friends are different
DTP Part 80
Valentine's Day Crap
Written on: February 18, 2004 (age seventeen)
Candy hearts and flowers
Cards and small gifts
Nothing I'd like better
Then to throw them back at you
Valentine's Day was a terrible day
When promises aren't kept
And you just run away
It wouldn't have been so bad
If we could cuddle by the fire
Or even a simple hello
Would have done fine
I never knew I could hate a day
So much
It brought pain and tears
It makes me so mad
That I let you do this to me
On a day of love
You left me to fend for myself
I had always hated V-day
But you made it so much worse
Written on: February 18, 2004 (age seventeen)
Candy hearts and flowers
Cards and small gifts
Nothing I'd like better
Then to throw them back at you
Valentine's Day was a terrible day
When promises aren't kept
And you just run away
It wouldn't have been so bad
If we could cuddle by the fire
Or even a simple hello
Would have done fine
I never knew I could hate a day
So much
It brought pain and tears
It makes me so mad
That I let you do this to me
On a day of love
You left me to fend for myself
I had always hated V-day
But you made it so much worse
DTP Part 79
Writing
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
Lost
I don't know what to write
Shadows cloud my mind
Clearing it of all thoughts
I write for hours upon hours
Clearing my mind of the words
They flow through my pen
Not enough time
To get a clear thought on paper
Before a new one appears
Pushing the old away
Crazy how after hours
I'm so numb, so tired
I can't think or sleep
My minds a blank
To stare at the ceiling blankely
Mesmerized by the colors
Flooding back into my world
There's nothing else in the world
Not when I wrote
Just me
A pen
Some paper
I'm lost
A world of a writer
Haunting me
Pressing me to go forward
My mind wanders
Showing me things
Reading to me my thoughts
Telling me to write
If only I could spend my life
Writing
It gives me my sanity
My escape
My reality
Alone
Lost
Dazed
A writer's life
A writer's dream
Feeding me to a world
Unlike any other
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
Lost
I don't know what to write
Shadows cloud my mind
Clearing it of all thoughts
I write for hours upon hours
Clearing my mind of the words
They flow through my pen
Not enough time
To get a clear thought on paper
Before a new one appears
Pushing the old away
Crazy how after hours
I'm so numb, so tired
I can't think or sleep
My minds a blank
To stare at the ceiling blankely
Mesmerized by the colors
Flooding back into my world
There's nothing else in the world
Not when I wrote
Just me
A pen
Some paper
I'm lost
A world of a writer
Haunting me
Pressing me to go forward
My mind wanders
Showing me things
Reading to me my thoughts
Telling me to write
If only I could spend my life
Writing
It gives me my sanity
My escape
My reality
Alone
Lost
Dazed
A writer's life
A writer's dream
Feeding me to a world
Unlike any other
DTP Part 78
My Mother's Embrace
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
Dedicated to: my mother
I remember long ago
Of a night that was warm
You could smell the flowers in the air
You could see the stars
I had woken up
From a terrible dream
With monsters and death
I was young
And I wanted comfort
I walked to the windowed door
I looked out at the world I knew
Through child's eyes it looked so big
I saw her laying there
As if she had been waiting all along
I ran to her to tell her
That I needed
The monsters chased away
She wrapped me in her warm embrace
One I had known so well
We stared up at the stars in silence
She wouldn't let me talk
But soon my monsters and fears
Disappeared
As she rocked me back and forth
I knew her arms would protect me
The stars made shapes
We pointed them out
In silent discovery
Minutes and hours passed
As the midnight sky turned to dawn
Light and colors filled the sky
As I laid in my mother's arms
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
Dedicated to: my mother
I remember long ago
Of a night that was warm
You could smell the flowers in the air
You could see the stars
I had woken up
From a terrible dream
With monsters and death
I was young
And I wanted comfort
I walked to the windowed door
I looked out at the world I knew
Through child's eyes it looked so big
I saw her laying there
As if she had been waiting all along
I ran to her to tell her
That I needed
The monsters chased away
She wrapped me in her warm embrace
One I had known so well
We stared up at the stars in silence
She wouldn't let me talk
But soon my monsters and fears
Disappeared
As she rocked me back and forth
I knew her arms would protect me
The stars made shapes
We pointed them out
In silent discovery
Minutes and hours passed
As the midnight sky turned to dawn
Light and colors filled the sky
As I laid in my mother's arms
DTP Part 77
My Prince
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
As a girl
I believed in fairy tale romances
And happily ever after
I couldn't wait to grow up
And fall in love
With the man of my dreams
He would be my prince
Dark and handsome and tall
He would be funny and kind
Loving and playful
There would be love at first sight
And I would trust him immediately
He would hold knowledge of the world
He would love the written word
H would read with me by the fires
Til we finally fell into lover's embrace
He would support my choices
And stand by my side
He would love me unconditionally
As I would love him
We would be best friends
Someone we could turn to
A shoulder to cry on
When hurt came our way
Through sickness and in health
For richer or for poorer
For better or worse
We'd be there for each other
With love and trust
Faith and hope
He'd want a great big family
Just as I do
With tons of kids and pets alike
We would grow old together
Our love just as sweet
As it was when we met
So now I'm a young woman
Waiting for her prince to come
For my happily ever after
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
As a girl
I believed in fairy tale romances
And happily ever after
I couldn't wait to grow up
And fall in love
With the man of my dreams
He would be my prince
Dark and handsome and tall
He would be funny and kind
Loving and playful
There would be love at first sight
And I would trust him immediately
He would hold knowledge of the world
He would love the written word
H would read with me by the fires
Til we finally fell into lover's embrace
He would support my choices
And stand by my side
He would love me unconditionally
As I would love him
We would be best friends
Someone we could turn to
A shoulder to cry on
When hurt came our way
Through sickness and in health
For richer or for poorer
For better or worse
We'd be there for each other
With love and trust
Faith and hope
He'd want a great big family
Just as I do
With tons of kids and pets alike
We would grow old together
Our love just as sweet
As it was when we met
So now I'm a young woman
Waiting for her prince to come
For my happily ever after
DTP Part 76
What's It Mean to Be In Love
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
Have you ever sat and wondere
What does it mean to be in love
Do you trust immediately
Or does it grow with age and time
Or can there be love without trust
When someone loves
Then gets hurt
How do you heal a broken heart
What's it mean to be in love
Is it always about just having one person
Forever and for always
Or will you have many loves
And treasure each and every one
Is it different for each person
Do we each have a soul mate
Someone we're destined to be with
What's it mean to have a soul mate
Does it mean happily ever after
Or a fairytale romance
Or can your soul mate
Be cruel and dishonest
With harsh words and a swift fist
A tangle of lies spewed forth
From your true loves mouth
What's it mean to be monogamous
To be true and faithful to the one you love
Does everyone have a different meaning
To be monogamous
I would think so
Since there are so many people
Lying and cheating
Where will it all end
So what's it mean to be in love
Does it need lust to be love
Or can you have both
Do we lust after the ones we love
Or do we love the people we lust for
Or are they not connected with each other
Two separate feelings
Not meant to be bound
Does love mean faithfulness, trust
Does it mean soul mates and true love
Does it mean hurt and heartbreak
Does it mean choice or lust
Is it about fate and destiny
Or lies and adultery
Does it mean marriage is in the future
A home and family
Have you ever just sat and wondered
What does it mean to be in love?
Written on: February 10, 2004 (age seventeen)
Have you ever sat and wondere
What does it mean to be in love
Do you trust immediately
Or does it grow with age and time
Or can there be love without trust
When someone loves
Then gets hurt
How do you heal a broken heart
What's it mean to be in love
Is it always about just having one person
Forever and for always
Or will you have many loves
And treasure each and every one
Is it different for each person
Do we each have a soul mate
Someone we're destined to be with
What's it mean to have a soul mate
Does it mean happily ever after
Or a fairytale romance
Or can your soul mate
Be cruel and dishonest
With harsh words and a swift fist
A tangle of lies spewed forth
From your true loves mouth
What's it mean to be monogamous
To be true and faithful to the one you love
Does everyone have a different meaning
To be monogamous
I would think so
Since there are so many people
Lying and cheating
Where will it all end
So what's it mean to be in love
Does it need lust to be love
Or can you have both
Do we lust after the ones we love
Or do we love the people we lust for
Or are they not connected with each other
Two separate feelings
Not meant to be bound
Does love mean faithfulness, trust
Does it mean soul mates and true love
Does it mean hurt and heartbreak
Does it mean choice or lust
Is it about fate and destiny
Or lies and adultery
Does it mean marriage is in the future
A home and family
Have you ever just sat and wondered
What does it mean to be in love?
DTP Part 75
The Unfairytale Romance
Written on: February 9, 2004 (age seventeen)
Once upon a time
There was a princess
Who loved a prince
The price like to dally
With all the pretty girls
And the princess just cried
For a different prince to love
One day she sat
Alone in her castle
As tears rolled down her cheeks
Her prince stumbling by
With a curse and a grumble
His clothes are a mess
And his eyes all glassy
She wanted to yell
In an unlady-like fashion
But she would hold back
Keeping her morals intact
Instead she just cried
Alone at night
One day as she stood
Alone in her castle
There was a rapping at her door
And there stood a prince
As dark and handsome
As her dreams
Would make him up
He held a bouquet of flowers
And said he would listen
He'd be by her side
And dry all her tears
She smiled at him
And knew her wishes had been granted
But it was too late
She was already bound
To the prince she had once loved
In once upon a time land
A bind could not be broken
So she was sad once again
And the prince only sighed
What would happen now
She said she wanted to leave
But she didn't want to hurt
No matter how much
He had hurt her before
The new prince only held her
As she cried her
Ever-present tears
The prince told her
The other guy was a bastard
For hurting someone so special
The princess smiled a haunted smile
And said those were lies
How could anyone be special
If they let themselves be hurt
The prince simply nodded
And knew the pain that she felt
Must be terrible and huge
He had pity for the princess
She had never known true love
The pleasures
The happiness
He wanted to show her
What true love meant
If only she would open up
And let him heal her old wounds
When the prince told her
What he felt
She just laughed
She told him straight out
She could never trust again
She would not let another person
Into her heart
If she would only be hurt
Once again
Never again
So now the princess lives alone
Her fairytale world in shambles
Both princes gone
No more tears fall down her cheeks
She's numb now
Lost in a world of
Unfairy-tale romances.
Written on: February 9, 2004 (age seventeen)
Once upon a time
There was a princess
Who loved a prince
The price like to dally
With all the pretty girls
And the princess just cried
For a different prince to love
One day she sat
Alone in her castle
As tears rolled down her cheeks
Her prince stumbling by
With a curse and a grumble
His clothes are a mess
And his eyes all glassy
She wanted to yell
In an unlady-like fashion
But she would hold back
Keeping her morals intact
Instead she just cried
Alone at night
One day as she stood
Alone in her castle
There was a rapping at her door
And there stood a prince
As dark and handsome
As her dreams
Would make him up
He held a bouquet of flowers
And said he would listen
He'd be by her side
And dry all her tears
She smiled at him
And knew her wishes had been granted
But it was too late
She was already bound
To the prince she had once loved
In once upon a time land
A bind could not be broken
So she was sad once again
And the prince only sighed
What would happen now
She said she wanted to leave
But she didn't want to hurt
No matter how much
He had hurt her before
The new prince only held her
As she cried her
Ever-present tears
The prince told her
The other guy was a bastard
For hurting someone so special
The princess smiled a haunted smile
And said those were lies
How could anyone be special
If they let themselves be hurt
The prince simply nodded
And knew the pain that she felt
Must be terrible and huge
He had pity for the princess
She had never known true love
The pleasures
The happiness
He wanted to show her
What true love meant
If only she would open up
And let him heal her old wounds
When the prince told her
What he felt
She just laughed
She told him straight out
She could never trust again
She would not let another person
Into her heart
If she would only be hurt
Once again
Never again
So now the princess lives alone
Her fairytale world in shambles
Both princes gone
No more tears fall down her cheeks
She's numb now
Lost in a world of
Unfairy-tale romances.
DTP Part 74
The Mirror
Written on: February 9, 2004 (age seventeen)
Sturdy, yet fragile I stand
In millions of places around the world
Reflecting what you wish to see
Whether it be a mask
One you put on everyday
To hide when you face the world
Or maybe it is you
Standing there
Wishing to be someone
You're not
Scare you may be
To face the world
As your true self
Only wishing to change yourself
Sometimes I stand dormant
In your room
Watching as time passes by
With just a glimpse that you give me
As you pretend not to care
The silvery pools of my glass
Showing only what you don't want to see
Now I stand here
Aging and growing brittle
Watching you grow
From babe to adult
You're married now
With children of your own
Yet as you look into the glass
I reflect back to you a girl
Small and naive
With bows in your hair
Written on: February 9, 2004 (age seventeen)
Sturdy, yet fragile I stand
In millions of places around the world
Reflecting what you wish to see
Whether it be a mask
One you put on everyday
To hide when you face the world
Or maybe it is you
Standing there
Wishing to be someone
You're not
Scare you may be
To face the world
As your true self
Only wishing to change yourself
Sometimes I stand dormant
In your room
Watching as time passes by
With just a glimpse that you give me
As you pretend not to care
The silvery pools of my glass
Showing only what you don't want to see
Now I stand here
Aging and growing brittle
Watching you grow
From babe to adult
You're married now
With children of your own
Yet as you look into the glass
I reflect back to you a girl
Small and naive
With bows in your hair
DTP Part 73
Thinking (Part 2)
Written on: February 9, 2004 (age seventeen)
When I was young
I couldn't wait to fall in love
But back then
I didn't know
That it would hurt so bad
I didn't know
That I would suffer heartache
Upon heartache
Now as I sit here
Writing what's on my mind
Thinking about these past years
And everything I've faced
Boys who like to hurt
The people they love
Boys who tell you lies
And trust you to believe them
Kind of strange
How I fall into their traps
How I always end up
With the bad ones
I guess I've always
Like the challenge
Or maybe
I just want to love everyone
Sometimes I think I trust too easily
The ones who can hurt me the most
Yet even if I knew
That they were going to hurt me
I still stick around
Hoping to change them
To make them stop hurting me
And hurting themselves
Written on: February 9, 2004 (age seventeen)
When I was young
I couldn't wait to fall in love
But back then
I didn't know
That it would hurt so bad
I didn't know
That I would suffer heartache
Upon heartache
Now as I sit here
Writing what's on my mind
Thinking about these past years
And everything I've faced
Boys who like to hurt
The people they love
Boys who tell you lies
And trust you to believe them
Kind of strange
How I fall into their traps
How I always end up
With the bad ones
I guess I've always
Like the challenge
Or maybe
I just want to love everyone
Sometimes I think I trust too easily
The ones who can hurt me the most
Yet even if I knew
That they were going to hurt me
I still stick around
Hoping to change them
To make them stop hurting me
And hurting themselves
DTP Part 72
Thinking
Written on: January 12, 2004 (age seventeen)
Sometimes I sit and wonder
Why I worry so much
About life
About death
I wonder if he's going to buy a ring
Man, I'm only seventeen
Why should I worry and wonder
Why can't I stand out
And live my life
Sometimes I think about the future
How easy it can change in a snap
It scares me so much
That I can't sleep at night
My hands shake
I cry
I'll try to write my life away
As I sit alone in my room
No one really understands
I've heard it all before
I've been told I'm a bad friend
They just don't seem to understand
How I need to get away sometimes
I need to live my life the way I do
By getting some alone time
So I can write
So my mind can explore
So I can be myself
Someday, I know, I'll have to grow up
To break out of my shy shell
To be a grown up
I'll have a job
I'll be in school
I'll be on my own
I might have a man
Or I might be alone
I'm just scared
Some days I make myself sick
With fear and worry
Will I make it on my own
Will I live up to my own expectations
Am I strong enough
I can close my eyes
And see what I want
I can reach as far as I can
Yet I can't reach them so far
I want a home and family of my own
I want to be a mother
I want to be a writer
I want to be who I can be
I want to be a good role model
And bring my kids up right
I want a loving husband
I can love in return
So many wishes
One day I'll open my eyes
To see the path I will travel
It will be clear to me
Or so I hope
I know I wish for a lot
Maybe someday
Some of my dreams and wishes will come true
I'll have my dream life
If only I can bring it about
I seek the knowledge
That is floating around
There is so much I want to do
I hear my friends talk about
What they want to do
I want to say to them
How I want to learn
All that there is
Forever
I wish life could be easy
With less choices and demands
A straight path we can follow
Without all those twists and bends
But what is the fun in that
Sometimes I like it the hard way
Not knowing where it will lead
Sometime the surprise is all we need
To make it through this life
Sometimes people ask me
What I believe in
And I can't answer their question
Because I know there's something out there
I just don't know who or what
I want to know all there is
Before I make the decision
Of what I believe in
Who can't see the sense in that
Now love is a different story
There's so much that I can say
There is a man in my life right now
Who I love more than anything
He's my friend and my lover
He's my trust and my rock
There is no one else like him
But he's so far away
Across a vast, wide country
Love is a hard thing
We all learn to adore
We all wish for it
And find it
Sometimes it makes us happy
Sometimes it makes us sad
And sometimes we feel both
Happiness and sadness
Love is a strange and wonderful thing
I love full-heartedly
Forever and for always
When I First fall in love
Nothing can stop me
But now that I have someone
Who loves me just as much
I'm so afraid to lose him
I hope it will always last
And that we'll be together
I want to build my dreams with him
To have a family with him
Yet I don't plan out our future
I live life one day at a time
And hope for the best
And no more tears
Or heartache
And hopefully we'll build our dreams together
As one
So as I sit here and think of many things
My life is passing by
My hand gets sore of writing
My mind is wandering again
As seconds pass into minutes
And minutes into hours
My mind is full of the knowledge I know
Yet it yearns to be filled with more
All will go well
I will be able to reach my dreams and wishes
I will make those that are possible come true
I will have my happily ever after
And I will be able to share it with someone special
My heart has been overjoyed
With the hopes I have
My mind has taken on a path
Full of twists and bends
And I am happy to be traveling it again
So now I want to sit and wonder
Of times to come
And times of the past
My heart will be filled of passion and promises
My mind will be full of knowledge
My home will be filled with love and family
My beliefs will be decided on
And I will live life to the fullest
And I will finally be happy
Written on: January 12, 2004 (age seventeen)
Sometimes I sit and wonder
Why I worry so much
About life
About death
I wonder if he's going to buy a ring
Man, I'm only seventeen
Why should I worry and wonder
Why can't I stand out
And live my life
Sometimes I think about the future
How easy it can change in a snap
It scares me so much
That I can't sleep at night
My hands shake
I cry
I'll try to write my life away
As I sit alone in my room
No one really understands
I've heard it all before
I've been told I'm a bad friend
They just don't seem to understand
How I need to get away sometimes
I need to live my life the way I do
By getting some alone time
So I can write
So my mind can explore
So I can be myself
Someday, I know, I'll have to grow up
To break out of my shy shell
To be a grown up
I'll have a job
I'll be in school
I'll be on my own
I might have a man
Or I might be alone
I'm just scared
Some days I make myself sick
With fear and worry
Will I make it on my own
Will I live up to my own expectations
Am I strong enough
I can close my eyes
And see what I want
I can reach as far as I can
Yet I can't reach them so far
I want a home and family of my own
I want to be a mother
I want to be a writer
I want to be who I can be
I want to be a good role model
And bring my kids up right
I want a loving husband
I can love in return
So many wishes
One day I'll open my eyes
To see the path I will travel
It will be clear to me
Or so I hope
I know I wish for a lot
Maybe someday
Some of my dreams and wishes will come true
I'll have my dream life
If only I can bring it about
I seek the knowledge
That is floating around
There is so much I want to do
I hear my friends talk about
What they want to do
I want to say to them
How I want to learn
All that there is
Forever
I wish life could be easy
With less choices and demands
A straight path we can follow
Without all those twists and bends
But what is the fun in that
Sometimes I like it the hard way
Not knowing where it will lead
Sometime the surprise is all we need
To make it through this life
Sometimes people ask me
What I believe in
And I can't answer their question
Because I know there's something out there
I just don't know who or what
I want to know all there is
Before I make the decision
Of what I believe in
Who can't see the sense in that
Now love is a different story
There's so much that I can say
There is a man in my life right now
Who I love more than anything
He's my friend and my lover
He's my trust and my rock
There is no one else like him
But he's so far away
Across a vast, wide country
Love is a hard thing
We all learn to adore
We all wish for it
And find it
Sometimes it makes us happy
Sometimes it makes us sad
And sometimes we feel both
Happiness and sadness
Love is a strange and wonderful thing
I love full-heartedly
Forever and for always
When I First fall in love
Nothing can stop me
But now that I have someone
Who loves me just as much
I'm so afraid to lose him
I hope it will always last
And that we'll be together
I want to build my dreams with him
To have a family with him
Yet I don't plan out our future
I live life one day at a time
And hope for the best
And no more tears
Or heartache
And hopefully we'll build our dreams together
As one
So as I sit here and think of many things
My life is passing by
My hand gets sore of writing
My mind is wandering again
As seconds pass into minutes
And minutes into hours
My mind is full of the knowledge I know
Yet it yearns to be filled with more
All will go well
I will be able to reach my dreams and wishes
I will make those that are possible come true
I will have my happily ever after
And I will be able to share it with someone special
My heart has been overjoyed
With the hopes I have
My mind has taken on a path
Full of twists and bends
And I am happy to be traveling it again
So now I want to sit and wonder
Of times to come
And times of the past
My heart will be filled of passion and promises
My mind will be full of knowledge
My home will be filled with love and family
My beliefs will be decided on
And I will live life to the fullest
And I will finally be happy
DTP Part 71
Another prompt from a creative writing class. We had to use synonyms to show the differences in how a meaning of a word could change everything.
Point of View
Written on: January 27, 2003 (age sixteen)
You are stubborn but I am persistent
You are mediocre but I am ordinary
You are parsimonious but I am tight-fisted
You are gullible but I am susceptible
You are overbearing but I am magisterial
You are childish but I am juvenile
You are abrupt but I am brusque
You are sanctimonious but I am Pharisaical
You are closed mouthed but I am reserved
You are submissive but I am docile
You are arrogant but I am prideful
You are apathetic but I am uninterested
You are meddlesome but I am officious
You are unchangeable but I am ironclad
You are peculiar but I am characteristic
You are reckless but I am brash
You are shrewd but I am astute
You are slow but I am set back
You are talkative but I am conversational
You are timid but I am tentative
Point of View
Written on: January 27, 2003 (age sixteen)
You are stubborn but I am persistent
You are mediocre but I am ordinary
You are parsimonious but I am tight-fisted
You are gullible but I am susceptible
You are overbearing but I am magisterial
You are childish but I am juvenile
You are abrupt but I am brusque
You are sanctimonious but I am Pharisaical
You are closed mouthed but I am reserved
You are submissive but I am docile
You are arrogant but I am prideful
You are apathetic but I am uninterested
You are meddlesome but I am officious
You are unchangeable but I am ironclad
You are peculiar but I am characteristic
You are reckless but I am brash
You are shrewd but I am astute
You are slow but I am set back
You are talkative but I am conversational
You are timid but I am tentative
DTP Part 70
Personal Creed
Written on: January 27, 2004 (age seventeen)
I believe in the stars in the midnight sky
The truth is out there
The creativity in me
The miracle of life
The faith of the heart, true love, babies, trust
But not that rain brings sadness
I believe in my own decisions
I believe in warm fires on cold winter nights
Cuddling, smiling, and being with friends
And I believe in that one day I'll have
The strength to share my creative side
This was a creative writing class prompt, we basically had to follow a script to write out on our first day. I still enjoy it.
Written on: January 27, 2004 (age seventeen)
I believe in the stars in the midnight sky
The truth is out there
The creativity in me
The miracle of life
The faith of the heart, true love, babies, trust
But not that rain brings sadness
I believe in my own decisions
I believe in warm fires on cold winter nights
Cuddling, smiling, and being with friends
And I believe in that one day I'll have
The strength to share my creative side
This was a creative writing class prompt, we basically had to follow a script to write out on our first day. I still enjoy it.
DTP Part 69
Suicide Girl
Written on: February 4, 2004 (age seventeen)
Mourning a loss so dear
What to do
You dress different
And try to change yourself
But nothing seems to help
So as a last resort
You slit your wrists
Try to kill yourself
Just to make the pain go away
Yet this only makes it come to you more
I hate it how you do that
You think no one else cares
But guess what?
Somewhere out there someone does
And you're just making them feel
What you felt
Now how does that make you feel?
So put that blade down
And go find something better to do.
In one of my creative writing classes we would do a daily photo prompt, and we would have to write something for about five minutes. This was based on an ad for suicide.
Written on: February 4, 2004 (age seventeen)
Mourning a loss so dear
What to do
You dress different
And try to change yourself
But nothing seems to help
So as a last resort
You slit your wrists
Try to kill yourself
Just to make the pain go away
Yet this only makes it come to you more
I hate it how you do that
You think no one else cares
But guess what?
Somewhere out there someone does
And you're just making them feel
What you felt
Now how does that make you feel?
So put that blade down
And go find something better to do.
In one of my creative writing classes we would do a daily photo prompt, and we would have to write something for about five minutes. This was based on an ad for suicide.
DTP Part 68
Penguins
Written on: February 4, 2003 (age sixteen)
Swift and strong
Flying through the water
Not having to worry
About paying bills
Or going to school
Or trying to be noticed in the world
They have it simpler
Or so we think
Its not like they have to live on their own
Survive with just the clothes on their backs
Hah
Well they do
They have predator upon predator hunting them
They live their life searching for a mate
Yet they are always faithful
They can survive with the fur they have
And have learned to fish and fly
In the freezing water
I think they have it harder
Written on: February 4, 2003 (age sixteen)
Swift and strong
Flying through the water
Not having to worry
About paying bills
Or going to school
Or trying to be noticed in the world
They have it simpler
Or so we think
Its not like they have to live on their own
Survive with just the clothes on their backs
Hah
Well they do
They have predator upon predator hunting them
They live their life searching for a mate
Yet they are always faithful
They can survive with the fur they have
And have learned to fish and fly
In the freezing water
I think they have it harder
DTP Part 67
Me
Written on: February 4, 2004 (age seventeen)
I wear a mask
A smile on my face
My eyes guarding my secrets
I'm an illusion
Doing my best to hide who I am
Trying to keep to myself
I am different
You think I have it easy
But that's only a show
I'm growing
Yet I hold onto my childish fears
They cloud my judgment
I'm tears
Curled up in a ball late at night
Letting free my worries and sorrows
I've changed
From a child inside
To someone who knows the pains of life
I'm lost
In a crowd of millions
But no one can see me
I'm scared
Of not reaching my own high expectations
Of disappointing my family
I'm me
Hiding a creative soul
In a shy shell
Written on: February 4, 2004 (age seventeen)
I wear a mask
A smile on my face
My eyes guarding my secrets
I'm an illusion
Doing my best to hide who I am
Trying to keep to myself
I am different
You think I have it easy
But that's only a show
I'm growing
Yet I hold onto my childish fears
They cloud my judgment
I'm tears
Curled up in a ball late at night
Letting free my worries and sorrows
I've changed
From a child inside
To someone who knows the pains of life
I'm lost
In a crowd of millions
But no one can see me
I'm scared
Of not reaching my own high expectations
Of disappointing my family
I'm me
Hiding a creative soul
In a shy shell
DTP Part 66
Cussing (Part 2)
Written on: January 28, 2004 (age seventeen)
When you're young
You learn the difference
Between right and wrong
But when it comes to using words
You throw them out
With a curse, a slur, a cuss, a swear
It's all the same
Freely throwing your lessons away
A simple curse
Showing you don't remember right and wrong
You were taught
To think before you speak
Yet lately I see people
Yelling words with vulgar meanings
Like their nothing
But they are something
Written on: January 28, 2004 (age seventeen)
When you're young
You learn the difference
Between right and wrong
But when it comes to using words
You throw them out
With a curse, a slur, a cuss, a swear
It's all the same
Freely throwing your lessons away
A simple curse
Showing you don't remember right and wrong
You were taught
To think before you speak
Yet lately I see people
Yelling words with vulgar meanings
Like their nothing
But they are something
DTP Part 65
Cussing (Part 1)
Written on: January 28, 2004 (age seventeen)
Cussing
Spit out of random mouths like nothing
Cussing
Everyone from child to adult knows how
Cussing
You think it means nothing but it does
Cussing
Where is the world taking us when all there is
Cussing
Written on: January 28, 2004 (age seventeen)
Cussing
Spit out of random mouths like nothing
Cussing
Everyone from child to adult knows how
Cussing
You think it means nothing but it does
Cussing
Where is the world taking us when all there is
Cussing
DTP Part 64
Are We
Written on: January 28, 2004 (age seventeen)
Scared and so unsure
Are we
Alone and deserted
Are we
Feared and strong
Are we
Faithful and true
Are we
Written on: January 28, 2004 (age seventeen)
Scared and so unsure
Are we
Alone and deserted
Are we
Feared and strong
Are we
Faithful and true
Are we
DTP Part 63
Lonesome Dove
Written on: unknown date
Be wary of the lonesome dove
That slyly lies in wait
To put you under the spell of love
Then turn it into love
At first he's full of love and care
Whispering in your ear
You heart he doesn't even spare
And fills you with an endless fear
He'll catch your heart and hold your hands
Making you feel safe inside
Then the hourglass runs out of sand
The flame that once burned has died
So be wary of that lonesome dove
Because he slyly lies in wait
At first it may seem like love
But will eventually turn to hate
Written on: unknown date
Be wary of the lonesome dove
That slyly lies in wait
To put you under the spell of love
Then turn it into love
At first he's full of love and care
Whispering in your ear
You heart he doesn't even spare
And fills you with an endless fear
He'll catch your heart and hold your hands
Making you feel safe inside
Then the hourglass runs out of sand
The flame that once burned has died
So be wary of that lonesome dove
Because he slyly lies in wait
At first it may seem like love
But will eventually turn to hate
DTP Part 62
My Name
Written on: unknown date
Love is my name
Waiting for it to come to me
When will I be able to trust my heart?
Love is my one last vow
Love is my name
Trust is my name
To be able to trust my heart
To be able to trust yours
I have trust in you do you have it in me
Trust is my name
Care is my name
The way you cared for my feelings
I will always care for yours
Caring for you, I will do forever
Care is my name
Written on: unknown date
Love is my name
Waiting for it to come to me
When will I be able to trust my heart?
Love is my one last vow
Love is my name
Trust is my name
To be able to trust my heart
To be able to trust yours
I have trust in you do you have it in me
Trust is my name
Care is my name
The way you cared for my feelings
I will always care for yours
Caring for you, I will do forever
Care is my name
DTP Part 61
Remembering
Written on: unknown date
Everyday I sit and think
Of the times I remember
Of you and me
We were as happy as can be
We were always hand in hand
We would run around in the sand
But that all has ended
When you were taken from me
The life that we once shared
Was taken on that day
When you drove to fast
When there was nothing left to say
Why couldn't you have stand
I just ask for one more hour
But I know I'll never get it
Not even to see your beautiful face
Those deep blue eyes
And the way they looked into my soul
I wish you could see the tears
That has now replaced the happiness
There's loneliness instead of fulfillment
Sadness standing for happiness
There's bitterness instead of friendliness
Hatred over love
No more parties for us to go to
No more words to be said
There's no more friends
To convince me you'll be here
There will never be another
Who will be so sweet
There will never be another
Who will love me so much
So how can I go on
Knowing you're no there
No more sneaking kisses
When my father isn't here
All those midnight walks
Every moonlit kiss goodbye
All the memories
Going through my head
Remembering...
Just to keep remembering
Always remember
That I'll always love you
Written on: unknown date
Everyday I sit and think
Of the times I remember
Of you and me
We were as happy as can be
We were always hand in hand
We would run around in the sand
But that all has ended
When you were taken from me
The life that we once shared
Was taken on that day
When you drove to fast
When there was nothing left to say
Why couldn't you have stand
I just ask for one more hour
But I know I'll never get it
Not even to see your beautiful face
Those deep blue eyes
And the way they looked into my soul
I wish you could see the tears
That has now replaced the happiness
There's loneliness instead of fulfillment
Sadness standing for happiness
There's bitterness instead of friendliness
Hatred over love
No more parties for us to go to
No more words to be said
There's no more friends
To convince me you'll be here
There will never be another
Who will be so sweet
There will never be another
Who will love me so much
So how can I go on
Knowing you're no there
No more sneaking kisses
When my father isn't here
All those midnight walks
Every moonlit kiss goodbye
All the memories
Going through my head
Remembering...
Just to keep remembering
Always remember
That I'll always love you
DTP Part 60
A Life Once Owned
Written on: unknown date
The happiness once known
Was gone when the morning came
Now sadness has replaced
The one smile on my face
The one meaning of life
Disappeared with the day
Like the sun was replaced by the moon
When the light had crept away
The road my life once traveled
Has crumbled beneath my feet
The stars have gone from my eyes
As light again entered my world
Sorrow and confusion
Replacing what is known
Telling me my thoughts were wrong
Scary thoughts conquered
A life once owned
Thoughts once controlled
My body once controlling
Not knowing what my mind knew
My heart shattered
When my life turned a corner
Did everything known
Just disappear
How does life get any better
When everything is so wrong
Will there be a tomorrow
Or a million more of todays
Running in fields
Our hands entwined together
Now I walk in the dark
Seeking a hand to grasp
Do we ever find the truth
Or do we just live the lies
When life is so hard
We don't know what to do
How hard can life be
Why does everyone make it look easy
Just to disappoint us
And to confuse me
Life's so hard
How'll I get through it alive
So many choices
And not knowing what to do
But I love it
I love the many choices
And the happiness with the success
And the sadness when I loose
Written on: unknown date
The happiness once known
Was gone when the morning came
Now sadness has replaced
The one smile on my face
The one meaning of life
Disappeared with the day
Like the sun was replaced by the moon
When the light had crept away
The road my life once traveled
Has crumbled beneath my feet
The stars have gone from my eyes
As light again entered my world
Sorrow and confusion
Replacing what is known
Telling me my thoughts were wrong
Scary thoughts conquered
A life once owned
Thoughts once controlled
My body once controlling
Not knowing what my mind knew
My heart shattered
When my life turned a corner
Did everything known
Just disappear
How does life get any better
When everything is so wrong
Will there be a tomorrow
Or a million more of todays
Running in fields
Our hands entwined together
Now I walk in the dark
Seeking a hand to grasp
Do we ever find the truth
Or do we just live the lies
When life is so hard
We don't know what to do
How hard can life be
Why does everyone make it look easy
Just to disappoint us
And to confuse me
Life's so hard
How'll I get through it alive
So many choices
And not knowing what to do
But I love it
I love the many choices
And the happiness with the success
And the sadness when I loose
DTP Part 59
Street Corner Fame
Written on: March 31, 2003 (age sixteen)
Strangers walk by
As he sat on the street corners
A guitar case by his side
He strummed a tune out
On the only hollowed wood
His fingers nimble and sure
His voice raspy and deep
As he sang an old song
He sang for a handful of change
So he could buy some dinner
His life had been great
Before this brown guitar
He had a home and job
Money to buy food
Never a thought in the world
That he would end up like this
With nothing to his name
But a guitar and a shabby old case
It had been so long since he had a big meal
One still warm
And didn't have the taste of mold
One full of care and loving
He was full of street corner fame
He sang day and night
For a handful of money
To buy supper in the end
He knew his fame
Would haunt him all his life
And all he had for show
Was an empty belly and an old brown guitar
Written on: March 31, 2003 (age sixteen)
Strangers walk by
As he sat on the street corners
A guitar case by his side
He strummed a tune out
On the only hollowed wood
His fingers nimble and sure
His voice raspy and deep
As he sang an old song
He sang for a handful of change
So he could buy some dinner
His life had been great
Before this brown guitar
He had a home and job
Money to buy food
Never a thought in the world
That he would end up like this
With nothing to his name
But a guitar and a shabby old case
It had been so long since he had a big meal
One still warm
And didn't have the taste of mold
One full of care and loving
He was full of street corner fame
He sang day and night
For a handful of money
To buy supper in the end
He knew his fame
Would haunt him all his life
And all he had for show
Was an empty belly and an old brown guitar
DTP Part 58
Sitting Alone
Written on: January 22, 2003 (age sixteen)
Sitting alone
Thinking about what to write
Will it be a story of long ago
Or a poem of lost love
Sitting alone
Wondering
Where will my life lead me
Will I one day find a way to save the world from pain and suffering
Or will I laze away my life
Wondering
Teaching
Figuring out if I am a good role model for my little brother
Or am I the sister who does nothing
Teaching
Faithful
Will I one day find the one and be loved
Or will it come to the day where I am old and alone
Faithful
Careful not to lose myself
Can you really lose yourself in love
Or is that just a caution, a warning to be watchful
Careful
Looking
Around me I see a war of people being killed
Do we have a leader of power or a power hungry man looking for revenge
Looking
Planning
Will my life go as I hope
Or are my dreams to high to reach for me
Planning
Trying
Going through cold and lonely days
Or talking my life away on warm summer nights
Trying
Standing out
Should I tell him that I love him
Or hid in the shadows yet
Another day and ignore these feelings
Standing out
Stranded
Wondering how hard it's going to be when I'm on my own
Will I have help or will I have to do it by myself
Stranded
Written on: January 22, 2003 (age sixteen)
Sitting alone
Thinking about what to write
Will it be a story of long ago
Or a poem of lost love
Sitting alone
Wondering
Where will my life lead me
Will I one day find a way to save the world from pain and suffering
Or will I laze away my life
Wondering
Teaching
Figuring out if I am a good role model for my little brother
Or am I the sister who does nothing
Teaching
Faithful
Will I one day find the one and be loved
Or will it come to the day where I am old and alone
Faithful
Careful not to lose myself
Can you really lose yourself in love
Or is that just a caution, a warning to be watchful
Careful
Looking
Around me I see a war of people being killed
Do we have a leader of power or a power hungry man looking for revenge
Looking
Planning
Will my life go as I hope
Or are my dreams to high to reach for me
Planning
Trying
Going through cold and lonely days
Or talking my life away on warm summer nights
Trying
Standing out
Should I tell him that I love him
Or hid in the shadows yet
Another day and ignore these feelings
Standing out
Stranded
Wondering how hard it's going to be when I'm on my own
Will I have help or will I have to do it by myself
Stranded
DTP Part 57
War
Written on: unknown date
Looking out at the world
Through my eyes
I see different people
Crowding spaces
And leaving traces
Of the unforgiven hatred
Burning words
That leave the heard and soul
Out to bleed
And we sit here shouting "peace"
Peace of the world
What world?
What peace?
All we have here
Is an abused land
Abused people
Who don't understand
Why we go to war
To leave our country
To fight our brothers
Who hate us
Who shoot us
Leaving a red river
To grow our food
To give us life
After deaths
The ones we caused
Written on: unknown date
Looking out at the world
Through my eyes
I see different people
Crowding spaces
And leaving traces
Of the unforgiven hatred
Burning words
That leave the heard and soul
Out to bleed
And we sit here shouting "peace"
Peace of the world
What world?
What peace?
All we have here
Is an abused land
Abused people
Who don't understand
Why we go to war
To leave our country
To fight our brothers
Who hate us
Who shoot us
Leaving a red river
To grow our food
To give us life
After deaths
The ones we caused
DTP Part 56
Turning Back
Written on: February 9, 2003 (age sixteen)
I was lost without you
Until a light shone
And I found my way
Back into your arms
Back to the warmth
Nothing turned out right
When we were apart
I believed it was my fault
But I guess we just had to go through it
To see if we'd turn back to each other
God must have a great plan
If He would bring us back together
To being found again
To being happy again
To believe again
Now that we're back together
I wonder if you're the one
Will we make it till the end
Can we do it together
Could it last forever
Written on: February 9, 2003 (age sixteen)
I was lost without you
Until a light shone
And I found my way
Back into your arms
Back to the warmth
Nothing turned out right
When we were apart
I believed it was my fault
But I guess we just had to go through it
To see if we'd turn back to each other
God must have a great plan
If He would bring us back together
To being found again
To being happy again
To believe again
Now that we're back together
I wonder if you're the one
Will we make it till the end
Can we do it together
Could it last forever
DTP Part 55
Thinking of You
Written on: unknown date
As I sit here wishing to be with you
My eyes cloud as I go into a world of fantasy
A world of true love and happily ever after
I see a world of beauty and sunshine
This world has become a new home
A daydream I wish was reachable
But as I wake up from my dream
I find no arms around me
Only a whisper of dreams untouchable
I reach out to you but you're not there
I wonder how long I'll have to wait
I wonder why I need you so much
The dream stays with me
Waiting for the chance to take me again
To whisk me off to happiness
To love and trust
Will it come to when I always meet the dream
Or will I finally meet reality
Written on: unknown date
As I sit here wishing to be with you
My eyes cloud as I go into a world of fantasy
A world of true love and happily ever after
I see a world of beauty and sunshine
This world has become a new home
A daydream I wish was reachable
But as I wake up from my dream
I find no arms around me
Only a whisper of dreams untouchable
I reach out to you but you're not there
I wonder how long I'll have to wait
I wonder why I need you so much
The dream stays with me
Waiting for the chance to take me again
To whisk me off to happiness
To love and trust
Will it come to when I always meet the dream
Or will I finally meet reality
DTP Part 54
Lovers Waltz
Written on: April 15, 2003 (age sixteen)
A lovers waltz
Its just between two
With promises sealed with a kiss
And endearments whispered in ears
The waltz can be slow and smooth
Or fast and wild
A lovers waltz
Is only with the one you love
Who would be by your side
For all of time
He'll not let you go
For anything in the world
Written on: April 15, 2003 (age sixteen)
A lovers waltz
Its just between two
With promises sealed with a kiss
And endearments whispered in ears
The waltz can be slow and smooth
Or fast and wild
A lovers waltz
Is only with the one you love
Who would be by your side
For all of time
He'll not let you go
For anything in the world
DTP Part 53
Alone
Written on: February 4, 2003 (age sixteen)
Alone in the corner
No place for a girl
But as I sit and think
Millions of things
Stories and poems
Writing themselves
It's weird how I put
My life into words
But rarely do I share them with others
As I am alone in the shadows
Writing and wishing
Alone in the room
A roaring silence
A desk, a pen, and paper
Is all I want
But to share it with someone
Would have to be true bliss
To spend my days telling stories
And to listen to some in return
A blazing fire
Quietly wishing
Written on: February 4, 2003 (age sixteen)
Alone in the corner
No place for a girl
But as I sit and think
Millions of things
Stories and poems
Writing themselves
It's weird how I put
My life into words
But rarely do I share them with others
As I am alone in the shadows
Writing and wishing
Alone in the room
A roaring silence
A desk, a pen, and paper
Is all I want
But to share it with someone
Would have to be true bliss
To spend my days telling stories
And to listen to some in return
A blazing fire
Quietly wishing
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